Chapter 2: Roosevelts Unite!

Eleanor returned home from London and spent that summer at her maternal grandmother’s country home Tivoli; while enjoyable, she soon found herself preparing for her debut at cotillion. (cotillion: “a formal ball given especially for debutantes”; this was an event partaken by young women typically from upper class families)

            Eleanor’s struggles with self-confidence were still evident at the many balls she attended as part of her “coming out”; she states about her experience at her first event, the Assembly Ball: “… I imagine I was well dressed, but there was absolutely nothing about me to attract anyone’s attention.” (Roosevelt, 37)  She would leave this first dance early.  She continues about her experiences attempting to adapt to society life: “… that first winter, when my sole object in life was society, nearly brought me to a state of nervous collapse.” (Roosevelt, 37)  It is clear that high society life was not suited to Eleanor, which in turn might be the foreshadowing that her life was destined for humanistic philanthropy.  This turned out to be accurate: in the midst of her attempted acclimation into New York high society, she was involving herself with a variety of organizations including Junior League and the Consumers League.

            During this time, she was spending a considerable amount of time with her fifth cousin Franklin Roosevelt; in fact, the first time Eleanor and Franklin encountered each other was during her adolescence before she left for Allenswood at a dance thrown by her uncle Ted’s side of the Roosevelt family.  As she states in her memoir: “I still remember my gratitude at one of these parties to my cousin Franklin Roosevelt when he came and asked me to dance with him.” (Roosevelt, 19-20) (seriously, why has this never been brought up in any documentaries I have watched on her?  This is an incredibly important piece of information!)  Another interesting tidbit is that her father Elliott was Franklin’s godfather! 

            As Eleanor reflects on her development by autumn 1903 (age 18-19): “I think I was a curious mixture of extreme innocence and unworldliness with a great deal of knowledge… which, however, did not seem to make me any more sophisticated or less innocent.” (Roosevelt, 40)  Around this time, Franklin asked Eleanor to marry him; Eleanor from her memoir: “…it seemed entirely natural and I never even thought that we were both young and inexperienced.” (Roosevelt, 41)  While today this incestual marriage is illegal, they were common at this time, especially within wealthy families who wanted to maintain or strengthen their ties.  On March 17, 1905, Franklin and Eleanor married in New York City at the home of her cousin Susie.  President Theodore Roosevelt traveled up from Washington to give her away, however was obligated to participate in the St. Patrick’s Day parade happening in the city afterward.  It must have been challenging having a famous relative, as Eleanor reports in her memoir that after the ceremony most guests were drawn to Teddy and his boisterous oratory.

            Eleanor described the early years of her marriage as simple related to her wifely duties, which included arranging a room for her brother and mending, however as the marriage settled she admits “I was beginning to be an entirely dependent person… A pleasant contrast to my former life, and I slipped into it with the greatest of ease.” (Roosevelt, 55) (odd, this does not sound like her at all!)  Eleanor specifically mentioned that Franklin’s mother was the one waiting on her hand and foot. (this will be explored further in the case conceptualization)  Wedded bliss did have some benefit in her continued struggle to socialize, as she disclosed that while she still struggled slightly with shyness it was not as bad as it used to be due to her being in frequent contact with others.

              On May 3, 1906 the Roosevelt family began to form as the couple’s only daughter Anna Eleanor was born.  Franklin and Eleanor would welcome five more children during the course of their marriage: James (born December 23, 1907), Franklin (born March 18, 1909), Elliott (born September 23, 1910), Franklin Jr. (born August 17, 1914), and John (born March 16, 1916).  Unfortunately the first Franklin Jr. would die of complications from influenza on November 8, 1909, only eight months old (another trauma for Eleanor to cope through).

            Eleanor continued to struggle with her adjustment to wife and motherhood.  Little did she know that her life will be further inconvenienced by Franklin’s passionate interest in entering the political world…